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Global Warming's Simple Solution |
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December 14th, 2008 When the answer finally occurred to us we were all saying like, "I could just kick myself!" "Here we were, running numbers with the latest data and our models were coming up with some really scary projections about the Earth's future climate - runaway warming, a catastrophic rise in sea levels, increased seismic activity and volcanism." Biff Eddyngton, Chief Modeling Ecologist at |
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TARPAC, pauses for a moment to collect his thoughts. "Then I ran into Smythe from the lab down the hall, you know, one of those wild string theory guys, and we got to talking." Sitting across the table munching a PBJ, Wade Smythe recalls, "Biff looked visibly concerned when I saw him that day, so I got him to share his news with me, we both agreed that the future looked pretty grim, and it had probably grown way too late for an effective political solution." Wade: "In an attempt to get his mind off of these gloomy things, I mentioned some of the exciting multiverse stuff we had been modeling down the hall in the so-called String Section. It was then that this weird expression comes over his face." Biff: "All I could think about was these delicious universes sitting idly by down the hall, even as the Earth burned. I guess it was pretty natural, how the idea occurred to me - why couldn't we just sequester our excess carbon in another universe? All we have to do is connect the two models." Wade: "In the end, that's literally what it came down to, we physically ran a cable from their network of machines down to ours, basically a null modem cable sort of thing, and just let the carbon flow from their model into one of the universes in ours, and voila, problem solved." Biff: "The only thing I feel kinda bad about is what we've been calling the NIMBU - Not In My Back Universe problem. I mean, what if there's intelligent life in that universe, and we're just dumping our toxins there? But hey, solving Earth's warming problems was not too shabby for one day, I'd say that's a good day's work." |
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